The Epistle of Saint Antonivs to the Discordians

These are the sayings of Saint Antonivs, recorded by an infinite 
number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of word processors
for an infinite number of years:

Except for the change in my pocket, my money exists only on paper.

If there is a God, we know one thing about him for sure.  He values 
his privacy.

Itís more important to be kind than to worship.  God can take care of

For the vast majority of people on this planet,
Life sucks and then you die!  So be kind, they're already having
a bad day!  

A flower is killed for its beauty.

Nietsche was wrong, sometimes what doesnít kill you, cripples you; and
what would he know, he's dead!

It may be lonely at the top, but itís hungry at the bottom.  I believe
in the trickle up theory.  Give a poor man a dollar and sooner or
later (probably sooner) it will wind up in the hands of a rich person.

The angry musings of an apostate:
Why would god have to kill himself (i.e. Jesus) in order to forgive us? 
Heís all powerful and doesnít have the power to forgive?  I forgive
people all the time.  Am I more powerful than god?  Is He that BLOOD
thirsty?  No one deserves to be tortured for eternity!  That is cruel and
unjust.  Who would want to worship such a BLOOD thirsty god?  Only out of
fear or selfish indifference to the fate of others could someone worship
such a god with no qualms.  And if those who donít believe in Jesus go to
Hell, then Jesus didnít die for ALL sins, only the sins of the few who
would believe in him.

The only Hell is the life created for us by those who teach others
that they will go to Hell if they don't pick the correct religion.

But have no fear!  As Pope of the Erisian Church I hereby and forth-
with grant absolution to one and all.  The only sin is in causing
someone else harm unnecessarily.  Domesticated Primates are not
perfect nor are they expected to be, just do your best.  Every day
is casual day!  Loosen that tie, cut every one some slack.  Kiss a
stranger, and never believe anything you read!!! 

In the Biblical Creation story, God tells Adam that when he eats from
the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil he will die.  
The Serpent on the other hand, tells Eve that she wouldn't die, but 
would be able to tell good from evil.  Who lied and who told the truth?

One good thing God did was to create all women naked!

Lies and Truth can both be destructive or constructive.

Otto is a magick name:
Bob spelled backwards is still Bob, but o++o (my dog's name) is still
o++o spelled backwards or upside down!  Also, if dogs could drive, they
would all drive motorcycles.  So keep the wind in your face and enjoy

Return to Tohn's Eclectic Page of Discord

Tohn's Eclectic Page of Discord: Official Web Site of the Erisian Church
The Gospel according to Antonivs of Syracuse: the true story of Jesus
Official List of Discordian Saints:
Get your three day work week here: official calendar of the Erisian Church
Jokes are sacred:
The Temple of Eris: No collection plate!
The Original Testament: Learn about Mrs. God!
The Meaning of Life: revealed at last
Erisian Kabbalah: anarchistic mysticism
Friends of Grey Face: beware these people
Attacks on Christianity by St. Abdulhaq:

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